


Earthbound

by VioletQueenMarie



Category: Vampire Academy & Related Fandoms, Vampire Academy Series - Richelle Mead
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Betrayal, Depression, F/M, Friendship, Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, Love, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-10-20 05:29:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20670089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletQueenMarie/pseuds/VioletQueenMarie
Summary: Instead of becoming shadow-kissed, Rose Hathaway turns into an earthbound ghost after dying in the car crash that kills the Dragomirs. Lissa tries to cope with the loss of her family and friend at St. Vladimir's, navigating school life and lurking darkness as a young princess and charge of Dimitri Belikov. Will the living and the dead move on?





	1. Chapter 1

**"Of all ghosts, the ghosts of our loved ones are the worst."**_-_Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, _The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes_

She tried to save them.

Vasilisa Dragomir did everything in her power to keep her family and Rose Hathaway alive. She called 911 and commanded the first responders to get help immediately. She used proper, medical techniques like CPR and applying pressure to wounds. She searched up and down the dark, snowy road their car accident had occurred on, hoping to find anyone that could provide aid in the meantime. She prayed to God and begged Him not to take them away from her.

But the paramedics took too long. Her loved ones remained still and unbreathing and bleeding. No other vehicles drove by. God didn't answer her prayers.

It was a nightmare. A gruesome, living nightmare that Lissa needed to vanquish. There wasn't much else she could do, yet she wasn't going to give up easily. She was going to fight for their lives, just like Rose would've fought for hers as her guardian.

Lissa placed her hands on her mother's chest, while hope and resolve surged through her veins. "Mom, wake up!" she screamed. "Please, wake up!"

A few moments passed, but nothing happened.

Rhea had no pulse.

Devastation poured into Lissa, and she frantically went to her father and did the same thing. "Come on, Dad. Wake up." She choked on a sob. "Say something. Anything…"

No response.

Eric was stone-cold dead.

At that point, attempting to revive Rose and her older brother, Andre, seemed pointless. If her parents weren't alive, then they weren't either. But she'd sworn to herself she wouldn't lose faith. What kind of a sister and friend would Lissa be, if she broke such a promise?

With renewed determination, she touched her sibling's chest and forced her will onto his corpse. "Open your eyes, Andre." Her voice was encouraging—pleading—as she shook him. "I know you can do it. Please, open them."

He didn't; he was as lifeless as Rhea and Eric.

Lissa's tears flowed harder and faster, blurring her Moroi vision. Her entire family was gone. How could this be? Was this some cruel joke? Did the universe hate her?

Shuddering and weeping, she shuffled to Rose. Lissa barely held herself together, but she somehow conjured up the energy to try resurrecting her best friend. Closing her eyes, she settled her hands over Rose's heart and amplified her willpower. Her pale face scrunched so tightly, that it felt like shattering glass.

"Come back to me, Rose. Please, don't leave me." She said this over and over, like a broken record. It was nearly impossible for her to stop.

After several moments of intense concentration, Lissa opened her eyes. She scanned Rose for any sign of life but found nothing. Her other half was unmistakably dead.

_I should've known they'd stay dead, _she thought. _I'm so stupid for thinking otherwise. So, so stupid…_

Numbness replaced her misery, as Lissa collapsed beside the cadavers. The ground's coldness seeped into her skin, but it didn't faze her. She relished in the feeling of her bones and muscles freezing up. Of not being able to move. Because it gave her the chance to play dead. To seem like she was with her loved ones in the spirit world.

* * *

The guardians eventually located Lissa and the others. They had to convince the human police and paramedics to vacate the horrific scene. It took a while for the authorities to agree, yet they left nonetheless. Their purpose was to help those in need, not aggravate their problems.

When the guardians began tending to the dead bodies, Lissa ensnared them in her embrace. "Get away from them!" she growled. Her jade-green eyes were glassy and red, while her platinum-blond hair was in vicious tangles. Her clothes were stained in semi-fresh blood—her, her family, and Rose's blood.

She looked insane. Broken.

A male guardian held up his hands. Lissa couldn't quite remember his name, but if she had to guess, it was Yuri. His voice was calm and carried a Romanian accent. "We're not going to hurt you, Princess. Just let them go. Everything will be okay." He slowly stepped forward.

Princess. Lissa was now a princess.

Her father had held the title of prince, but he wasn't alive anymore. None of the other Dragomirs were. She was the last, living member. The sole representative of a powerful bloodline, and she didn't want to be.

Lissa scooted away, croaking, "I can't. I need to stay with them."

"What you need, Princess, is to come back to St. Vladimir's." Lissa jerked her head toward the new voice. It belonged to an older, female guardian with leathery skin and graying hair: Alberta Petrov, captain of the school's guard. "We can do a better job of protecting you there."

Lissa met the woman's gray gaze. Her voice was rigid. "My family died today. Our guardians and my best friend, who was supposed to be my guardian, died too. They weren't killed by Strigoi but a drunk driver. Can you really protect me that well?"

Her challenge struck Alberta speechless, but the latter quickly regained composure. She cleared her throat and stood up straight. "We'll do everything we can to keep you out of harm's way, Princess. You have my word." Alberta held out her hand. "Come on. It's time to go."

Lissa looked at their surroundings. The sky was pitch-black and littered with diamond-like stars, as the silver moon illuminated the thick and dark forestry. Crystal-white snow fell from the heavens and coated the brown earth and looming trees. Everything was silent and still. It all resembled a winter wonderland.

But she knew better than to be enraptured. There were bound to be Strigoi lurking in the shadows, waiting to strike. Lissa could just picture a horde of the immortal monsters ambushing her and the guardians. Their red-ringed eyes and deadly fangs. Bodies falling one by one, until there was no one left to see another day.

Snapping out of her unnerving thoughts, Lissa shook her head. She swallowed hard and gripped Alberta's hand. When she was on her feet, Yuri led her to one of St. Vladimir's SUVs. She kept her gaze to the front, yet every once and a while, she glanced behind her to look at her loved ones.

Even when the body bags shielded them from her view.

* * *

Dr. Olendzki was tending to a novice with a sprained ankle, when Lissa and Alberta rushed in. She initially furrowed her brows at their presence; Moroi students rarely came to the infirmary, due to not having a physically demanding education. But then, her jaw dropped and a hand pressed against her racing heart.

"Oh my god! Vasilisa, you poor thing…"

Alberta led the girl over to Dr. Olendzki. "Can you please take a look at her injuries? They seem minor, but I just want to make sure there's no serious damage."

The physician nodded. "Of course." She sat Lissa down on an empty bed and began her examination. "Is she the only one, or are there others coming in?"

"She's the only one." A lump formed in Alberta's throat, but she swallowed it down and took a deep breath. "The others didn't make it." She couldn't help the trembling in her voice.

Dr. Olendzki gasped. Her hand froze above the gash on Lissa's temple. "Everyone else died?" Alberta nodded. The doctor cradled Lissa in her arms, as tears flooded the girl's eyes and broken sobs filled the room. "It's okay, Vasilisa," she cooed, stroking her hair. "Everything's going to be okay."

"Wait a minute. What happened?" The novice who had been receiving medical attention before Lissa and Alberta had arrived sat up straighter in his bed. "Why is she crying?"

"The Dragomirs died in a car crash, Novice Barnes," Alberta answered, her voice now steady. "So did Rose Hathaway."

Dean widened his eyes and paled. His jaw went slack. "Holy shit…" He focused on Lissa, who was facing his direction with her chin resting on Dr. Olendzki's shoulder. "How the hell are you still alive?" he asked, puzzled yet amazed.

Alberta narrowed her gaze at him. "Apologize to Miss Dragomir this instant, Novice Barnes. Never again do I want to hear such insensitivity."

He flinched at her harsh tone. But before he could say anything, Lissa said, "It's okay, Guardian Petrov. I don't want his apology." She just wanted to disappear.

Alberta blinked in surprise. "Oh…Well, all right then." She pointed a callous finger at Dean and chastised, "I still want you to watch your mouth, Novice Barnes. Understand?"

He nodded vigorously, stammering, "Yes, Guardian Petrov." He remained silent, after that.

Satisfied with Dean's response, Alberta directed her attention to Dr. Olendzki. "How is she?" she wondered, gesturing toward Lissa.

"Aside from the gash on her head, she has bruises and shallower cuts. She also has general neck pain, swelling, and a sprained ankle. As you suspected, it's nothing major. She should be fine, in a week."

Alberta nodded. "That's good."

Dr. Olendzki stood up from Lissa's bed. "I'm going to get her a cast, hot compress, and ointment. Even though I said she'll be fine, I still want her to stay overnight. Just to be safe."

"Okay, thank you." Dr. Olendzki disappeared, and Alberta turned to Lissa. "I'm going to see Headmistress Kirova." She bowed and gave a small smile. "I'll come back to check on you, Princess. You should get some rest."

Lissa nodded, despite not meaning it. Resting was the last thing she wanted to do. Memories of the car crash would only resurface to haunt her. She needed to keep her eyes open, no matter what. If she didn't, the darkness would take her.

When Dr. Olendzki reentered the infirmary, Alberta left. The doctor tended to Lissa's injuries, humming lullabies and whispering soothing words. Lissa pretended to be at ease, smiling along and staying still. Dean watched them from his bed, solemn and quiet.

And light shone throughout the room, keeping them all safe and warm until the darkness creeped in.

* * *

"I'm terribly sorry about the tragic loss of your parents and brother."

"May the Dragomirs rest in peace. They'll be deeply missed."

"How does it feel to be a princess?"

"I can't believe you were the only one who survived the car crash!"

Lissa was bombarded left and right, while she was escorted to Headmistress Kirova's office the following day. All she wanted to do was run to her dorm room and hide in her bed forever. She'd been used to the attention she'd received as a high-ranking, royal Moroi. But she couldn't stand it anymore. Too much negativity surrounded her family name.

She arrived at her destination, minutes later. Although Lissa knew she was going to get similar treatment from the headmistress, she appreciated everyone else not being around.

"Vasilisa."

Kirova rose from her swivel chair and nearly ran to the girl. She wrapped her arms around her, and Lissa didn't know whether to return the gesture or pull away. She'd had never been this compassionate.

"I'm so glad you're alive and all right. If you hadn't made it, only God knows what would've happened. May He rest your family's souls."

Lissa offered a weak smile, when they separated. "Thank you." That was all she could say.

Kirova nodded then sat down, and Lissa did the same. The former folded her hands on her mahogany desk and returned to her authoritarian nature. "I'm afraid you'll be spending winter break on campus, Miss Dragomir. You're not leaving this school, even if you're invited to a vacation. It's the best course of action, right now."

"But Christmas is coming!" Lissa couldn't help countering her. She didn't want to be treated like a prisoner. "I should be celebrating it someplace else. It won't be as fun and special, if I stay. The same goes for New Year's."

Her argument earned a condescending chuckle and headshake. "You don't need to be away from home or school, to have a wonderful vacation or break." Then, Kirova fell strict again. "You're remaining behind the safety of the wards, and that's final. You'll also be assigned a guardian."

Lissa furrowed her brows. "I haven't graduated yet."

"Being the last Dragomir makes you a perfect target," Kirova explained. "Strigoi will be jumping at the chance to eradicate a prestigious, royal family like yours. Therefore, you need a guardian early." Her gray eyes pierced Lissa, who squirmed in her seat. She felt like a vulture was staring at her.

"Who's going to be my guardian?"

"The process is still underway, Princess. I should know, in about a week." Kirova smoothed out her black, pencil skirt. "In addition, the funeral is going to be on campus after winter break. The Queen will be in attendance, as well as other high society Moroi and the entire school."

Lissa grimaced. How would she be able to deal with all that attention? People were already offering their condolences everywhere she went, and it only made her remember the tragedy she wanted to forget.

_Is everyone trying to have me lose my mind?_ she thought.

"I understand this'll be a difficult experience for you, Miss Dragomir," Kirova said. _Do you really? _"But your family deserves to be honored and celebrated for the lives they lived." _Rose does too_. "That's all for now. You're dismissed."

Lissa nodded. "Yes, ma'am." She was so happy to leave, that she wanted to sprint out of the office. But all that'd do was make her look rude. She also needed to take it easy on her ankle.

Instead, she got out of her seat and walked to the door with grace and calmness. As much as the cast would allow, anyway.

When her hand touched the doorknob, Kirova's voice broke the silence. "I know Miss Hathaway was your friend and future guardian, Vasilisa. But you shouldn't waste your time mourning her. She was expendable and a troublemaker. If she hadn't been a novice, she only would've been a blood whore."

Anger ripped through Lissa's chest. Yet pain took its place, as she spoke about her best friend—her sister—in past tense. "Rose was more than that. She would've been a great guardian. One of the best." She couldn't believe she was acknowledging that Rose was gone.

Kirova rolled her eyes and swatted a hand. "Whatever. Just go and get some rest."

Lissa stormed out without another word.

* * *

Blazing fire, mangled metal, oozing blood, suffocating smoke, dead bodies…

Lissa tossed and turned in her bed, as those images flashed in her mind for the second night in a row. She tried to wake up, but it wasn't possible. Her eyes were glued shut, and the awful memories were too real to erase. The darkness was too strong to defeat.

She remained trapped for what appeared to be forever, until she felt a hand touch her and heard a voice calling her name. Lissa finally jerked awake, hyperventilating and drenched in a cold sweat. Her head whipped around, as her gaze darted all over her dorm room. She expected to find her roommate, but Natalie Dashkov wasn't there.

Only her.


	2. Chapter 2

**"There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."**_ -_Laurell K. Hamilton_, Mistral's Kiss_

"What are you still doing in here?"

Lissa shrieked and fell out of bed, groaning as she hit the floor. She'd thought the voice—which somehow reminded her of Rose—had been the one haunting her the past, few days. The whisper in her ear that never let her do anything in peace. A sad, breathy noise begging for company.

However, she only saw a confused and concerned Natalie when she glanced at the doorway. The voice had been her roommate's, not some intangible entity's that couldn't be seen. It was an unsettling relief.

"Oh my God!" Natalie rushed over, bending down to help Lissa stand. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." It was a lie, but Natalie had seemed guilty and Lissa didn't want to make her feel any worse. Today was Christmas Eve.

Natalie didn't seem all that convinced. "Are you sure? Because you were pretty startled." She stepped closer to Lissa, assessing her with the same pale green eyes she had. "Is something bothering you? If so, I won't tell anyone. I promise."

While it was nice that Natalie wanted to be there for her, Lissa wasn't comfortable sharing the real reason why she'd freaked out. No one could know about the omnipresent voice that spoke like Rose. Or the chilling touch of its owner, who might've been Rose too. Kirova would send her to a shrink, if the truth was revealed. Maybe even an insane asylum.

The legacy of the Dragomirs would be absolutely ruined. Dead and gone, along with the stability of her mind. An eternal icon of pity and shame.

"Nothing's wrong," Lissa insisted. She plastered on a smile, massaging her aching side and keeping weight off her agitated ankle. "Like I said, I'm fine."

Suddenly, Natalie's eyes glazed over. She wasn't looking at Lissa anymore, but through her. As if she was in a different dimension. "Okay." Even her voice sounded foreign.

Lissa had no idea what was happening, but she had no time to ask. Natalie went back to normal as quickly as she'd spaced out, then changed the topic of conversation right after. "Anyway, I came in here to get some last-minute things," her roommate said, venturing to her closet.

"I thought you packed everything."

While she appeared tuned into the chat, Lissa was actually pondering Natalie's instant compliance. That hadn't been a result of mere persuasion. It'd stemmed from something darker: mind control. And it scared and worried her to the core.

Then again, a lot of things were scaring and worrying her lately. This was probably another illusion—a trick of her weary brain. She should just let it go.

"Me too. But Daddy told me to get one, more outfit. We're going to be at Big Bear an extra day." Natalie took out a set of clothes then faced Lissa with a hopeful expression. "Can you please come with us? You'll have so much fun, and Daddy won't mind."

The saltiness of Lissa's tears burned like fire. She wanted to join Natalie and her dad—Victor Dashkov—so badly. All she did now was go through the motions, trying to stay afloat in a sea of tragedy and madness. Her existence had never been so agonizing; an escape was the only thing that could end her misery.

Yet Kirova had ordered her to stay on campus. If Lissa disobeyed her, she'd be dragged back to the Academy and slammed with detention. Maybe even suspension or probation.

Worst-case scenario, the guardians wouldn't be able to retrieve her. Lissa would get kidnapped and held hostage for the rest of her life, turned into a Strigoi, or killed just like her parents and brother. The Dragomirs would be no more. Everything they had done to ensure their power and influence would be all for nothing.

"I'm sorry, Natalie," Lissa replied after a while, wiping her eyes. "But I can't go. You can get me a souvenir, though. And send me pictures." She tried to sound positive but failed.

Her roommate's hope vanished immediately. "Okay, then. I'll see you when I return." Natalie walked over to Lissa and captured her with a tight hug. "I know you feel alone and depressed right now. But I guarantee this'll all get better. Daddy and I are here for you."

Lissa smiled. "Thanks. That means the world to me."

* * *

A group of dhampirs were hanging out in the Commons, when Lissa passed through on her way from lunch. They didn't notice her right away, too preoccupied with devouring freshly baked cookies and singing along to "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." But once they did, the music was turned off and everyone stared at her as a grave, heavy silence fell over the room.

Tears welled up in Lissa's eyes again and she put her back toward them, so they wouldn't see her cry. She was sick and tired of breaking down in public. Of being the object of everybody's pity and sympathy. Why didn't they realize she couldn't be strong, if they kept treating her like she was weak?

Out of nowhere, a hand touched her shoulder. "Lissa, are you all right?" It was Mason Ashford, Rose's best male friend. Not the invisible figure—the one who somehow had her late companion's voice—she'd initially thought.

She jerked away from him. "No, I'm not all right." He flinched at her hostility, but she continued nonetheless. "The people I care about are dead, no one will quit acting like I'm some porcelain doll, and I can't go on vacation for Christmas. My entire life sucks!"

Mason frowned and stepped closer to Lissa with clenched fists. "You're not the only one who's suffering, _Princess_. Rose was my friend too; she meant everything to me." A stream of tears flowed from his baby-blue eyes. When he spoke again, Lissa could barely hear him. "I miss her so much. I wish she was still here, every fucking day. I never even got to tell her I love her."

_He loved her?_

Lissa had always figured Mason had had a crush on Rose; he'd followed her around like a puppy and went above and beyond to make her happy. But she'd had no idea he'd cared about her so deeply. They were just teenagers—too young to understand what real love was.

Would Rose have returned his affections, if she'd known? If she'd still been here?

Mason's cries and sniffles echoed throughout the room, and a tall guy with sandy-blond hair—Eddie Castile—hurried over and wrapped his arms around him. He stroked Mason's scarlet-red curls, softly reassuring him. Lissa felt like a bitch for not having considered Rose's admirer's feelings. Like the self-absorbed princess he'd claimed her to be.

Too guilty to look at him, she stared at the floor. "I'm sorry for snapping at you, Mason. I shouldn't have done that." She wanted to say more, but she'd only repeat herself. She'd already conveyed her message in those two sentences.

He didn't respond for a long while, and Lissa transferred her gaze to him. His head remained buried in the crook of Eddie's neck, like he wished for her to leave. Did he not care about her apology? Did he think she'd been insincere?

Whatever the truth was, Lissa didn't wait to find out. She hightailed it to the door, suppressing the tears that threatened to fill her eyes. The weight of everyone's stares bore down on her, and she was just about ready to sprint to her dorm room (her ankle had completely recovered) when Mason finally spoke.

"Lissa, wait."

She stopped then slowly turned around, swallowing hard. "Yeah?"

"I forgive you." He had separated from Eddie and was now looking right at her, a small smile on his freckled face. "It's okay that you lashed out. You're going through a tough time."

Lissa shook her head. "No, it's not. I should've been in control." Losing her cool was unacceptable. She needed to maintain her family's good image. That's what Andre had done, when he'd been a student at St. Vladimir's. The whole school had adored him. It was only right that they adored her too.

"You couldn't help it," Mason said. "Give yourself a break." He walked over to Lissa, grabbed her hand, and led her to the other dhampirs. "Spend Christmas Eve with us. Your Moroi friends and roommate are gone. There's no reason for you to celebrate the holidays alone."

"I don't know…" She broke out of his grip and moved away. "I've already interrupted your guys' party, and I need to get started on a research paper... I should probably just go."

Mason opened his mouth to object. But his words were lost on her as the maddening voice resurfaced, assaulting her ear with its rasp. _Go on and have fun. A little won't hurt…_

Similar to earlier, it eerily sounded like Rose. Especially since that was something she'd say. Yet Lissa still wrote it off as her brain imagining her best friend talking to her. The voice was too hollow and quiet to be real. She was only grieving; this was totally natural.

There was no way she'd let herself have an episode around these people.

"You'll regret it, if you leave." Eddie was speaking, instead of Mason. He now stood directly in front of Lissa with a pointed expression. "Don't you want a distraction?"

She crossed her arms and sighed. "Yeah…" It hadn't made sense to lie, when she knew she'd been craving an escape the moment she'd got back on campus.

"Then hang out here, for a bit. We have cookies, brownies, cupcakes, and candy canes. And a gallon of hot chocolate." Eddie gestured to a snack table against a wall across the room. "We're also singing along to Christmas carols. You'll have a blast."

Lissa hesitated. She'd never really hung out with dhampirs, other than Rose. They led totally different lives. Hers had revolved around politics and networking, while theirs had been centered on training to protect Moroi from Strigoi. Plus, those novices hadn't been close to her family.

The only times she'd interacted with them was when Rose had brought them along. But Rose was no longer here, and Lissa claiming her buddies seemed wrong. They hadn't been her friends in the first place; it'd just be an awkward situation.

Although, Eddie was right. She'd regret not having some fun, since the car accident. It'd keep her from healing, and she _yearned_ to get better. Rose also would've wanted Lissa to get to know her old pals. It was the least she could do for herself and the girl who'd dedicated her life to her.

"Okay," Lissa finally decided, cracking a grin. "I'll stay."

Someone turned the music back on, and Mason and Eddie took her to a couple dining tables that were pushed together. She sat down in an empty chair, taking a sprinkled sugar cookie from a novice who introduced himself as Shane Reyes. As Lissa ate, she striked up a conversation with a female dhampir named Meredith. It was almost like talking to Rose.

When Christmas arrived several hours later, everyone—including Lissa—opened their presents. She hadn't expected to receive a gift, because she'd never participated in the group's annual tradition of Secret Santa. But Eddie and Mason had planned on giving her one, once they'd found out about Rose's death.

"Oh my God!" Lissa gasped, pulling the present out of the bag. "This is absolutely beautiful."

It was a large and cutely decorated scrapbook titled _Best Friends Forever. _There were numerous pictures of her and Rose, from kindergarten all the way to ninth grade. Most of them had been taken on campus, during off-break holidays like St. Varvara's and St. Valentine's Day. Or mealtimes, study halls, and girls' nights. The rest had been snapped outside of school, throughout shopping trips and vacations with Lissa's family.

"Thank you so much." She closed the book and embraced Mason and Eddie, careful not to wet all three with her tears. "I really appreciate you guys making this for me."

"We didn't make it."

Lissa pulled away, furrowing her brows. "What?"

"Rose actually did," Eddie said. "She gathered all your photos and bought the scrapbook and accessories, with the money she saved up. She swore us to keep it a secret, since she wanted to give it to you as a graduation gift. But because of the…accident, she wasn't able to. She told us before where she had it in her room. We thought it'd be a good idea to make it your Christmas present, now that she's gone."

Mason nodded. "We debated handing it to you on the day of the funeral. Yet we figured it'd be best if you had it sooner, rather than later." He beamed and wiped a lone tear running down his cheek.

A higher level of admiration blossomed inside Lissa. Rose had done so much for her—probably more than anything she'd done. While her best friend had lacked the funds to give fancy and expensive things, Rose had offered better value by just being a wonderful person. Bringing beauty, happiness, love, and fun to everyone around her.

Lissa hugged Eddie and Mason once more. "This is the greatest Christmas present I've ever had."

* * *

She met her new guardian, a week and a half later. Her heart nearly stopped, when Alberta brought her into Kirova's office. The tall man standing in the middle of the room was drop-dead gorgeous. His face looked like it was carved by gods, and his shoulder-length brown hair and intense, dark eyes only added to the effect. Lissa never knew guardians could be that hot.

"Miss Dragomir," Kirova said, snapping her out of her daze. "This is your sanctioned guardian, Dimitri Belikov. He'll be assigned to you for the remainder of your high school career and future endeavors after graduation."

He stepped forward and bowed with grace, despite being several inches taller than her and everyone else in the room. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Princess." She heard a faint, Russian accent. Solemnity filled his gaze, afterwards. "I'm sorry about the loss of your family."

"Please, call me Lissa." Formalities and condolences were such a drab. They only emphasized the fact that her loved ones were gone. "And I lost Rose too." Her fallen friend deserved to be recognized just as much as her family.

Dimitri arched an eyebrow. "Guardian Hathaway's daughter?"

"Vasilisa," Kirova warned with a sharp glare.

Alberta came to the rescue. "Yes, Guardian Belikov." When she spoke to Kirova, her words were respectful yet firm. "Let the princess speak, Headmistress. You know how important Rose was to her."

Dimitri looked between the two women before focusing on Lissa. He searched her face long and hard then asked, "She was more than a friend, wasn't she?" His voice was soft and warm.

Lissa nodded, fighting back tears. "She was my sister. The best sister in the entire world."

His lips twitched into a glum smile, as understanding darted across his features. "I'm sure she was." Not a moment later, Dimitri slipped on his guardian mask. He turned to Kirova and Alberta. "Is there anything else that needs to be discussed?"

"I'd like to go over your work schedule," Alberta said. "Come to my office, after you take the princess to her room."

"Yes, Guardian Petrov." Dimitri uttered a goodbye then guided Lissa out of the room, through the upper campus administration building, and outside.

The air was cold and dry, and snow crunched underneath their feet as they walked. Light, gray clouds blanketed the dark sky, releasing crystals that wet their clothes and melted in their hair. It was mid-morning—almost midnight, human time—and Lissa looked forward to getting back inside. She planned to put on her pajamas, climb into bed, and flip through the scrapbook again.

Once they reached the Moroi dorms, she started pondering what she should say to him. They hadn't breathed a word to each other, while they'd been outside. Dimitri didn't seem all that gregarious, so Lissa had resorted to keeping to herself. He was also her guardian, and she his charge. What would they even talk about?

Nevertheless, she decided to give socializing a try. "Did you celebrate the holidays yet?"

Dimitri tensed, remaining silent while they went up the stairwell. Lissa cursed internally, wishing she hadn't opened her mouth. If he'd wanted to chat, he would've said something already. Now she had to apologize for bothering him.

But before she could, he answered her question. "No, I didn't."

That made no sense. Russian Christmas was a few days away, according to the Gregorian calendar. He should've still been at home with his family. Yet for some reason, he'd flown in as soon as he'd received the job offer.

"Oh…okay." Lissa was itching to ask Dimitri why he'd left Russia so quickly. Although, the lingering tension in his body told her not to. "How old are you?" she wondered instead.

He eased up a little. "Twenty-two." A seven-year difference. Not too bad. It was definitely better than having a guardian in their thirties or forties.

"What school did you go to?"

"St. Basil's. It's like St. Vladimir's, but the campus is larger. And the curriculum is more rigorous. I graduated at the top of my class."

Lissa's eyes widened. She wasn't keen on the details of guardian training. But she certainly knew it was a severe, lengthy process. Dimitri was extremely qualified, for someone his age. He'd probably received a royal guard request from Queen Tatiana herself.

"Wow, that's amazing! Who was your cha—?"

"All right, Princess." She didn't correct him, this time. He was on edge again. "We've reached your room." Dimitri took a small notebook and pen out of his long, leather coat. He wrote something down before ripping out a page and handing it to her. "If you need anything, email me. Or go to the service desk in the dhampir dorm. The worker there will notify me, and I'll be on my way as soon as possible."

"What if another guardian is already with me, when I'm in trouble?"

"They'll inform me of the issue, and I'll come over to help." Dimitri opened her door with his staff key and bowed. "Enjoy the rest of your day, Princess. I hope your soul heals."

Lissa froze, as he turned around and descended the stairs. Those last, few words may have seemed like any other wish to get well. Yet she knew it was deeper than that. She'd heard the pain and sadness in his voice, despite the guardian mask he'd worn. It was the same as when they'd been in Kirova's office.

Dimitri's message hadn't just been for her.

It'd been for him too.


	3. Chapter 3

**"It is important to attend funerals. It is important to view the body, they say, and to see it committed to earth or fire because unless you do that, the loved one dies for you again and again."**_-_Anne-Marie MacDonald_, Fall on Your Knees_

Multiple knocks sounded to her left, quiet yet firm. The voice of their owner filtered through with equal force, rich and deep as it called her gloomily. Lissa wondered how long Dimitri had stood outside her room, before he'd revealed his presence. If he'd heard every wretched cry and incoherent rambling she'd made in the past ten minutes.

"Princess." She sniffled, wrapping her arms tighter around herself. "Princess, everyone's waiting for you at the funeral. They're starting to get worried."

"I don't care." She didn't know if he heard that over the scratchiness of her voice, but she didn't give a damn.

"I know having to go hurts, Princess." Apparently, he had. "But you still have to come. You can't just ditch the service."

"Yes, I can."

Unwilling to move, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Puffy, red eyes stared back. And her paler-than-usual, tearstained skin underneath her elegant, black dress made her look like a ghost instead of a living person. Nobody could see her this way. Fading away was better. So much better.

Dimitri fell silent. Lissa smiled. It was a hollow smile but a smile, nevertheless. He was gone. She could finally be alone and grieve on her own. Miss out on the speeches and gifts and prayers and hugs and questions and body viewings—the looks, the kissing up, the suffocating pity.

"Don't you want to say goodbye to Rose and your family?" he eventually asked, indicating he hadn't moved either. Lissa tensed harder, killing her smile. His voice was strangely emotional. "Don't you want to see them one last time? See them before...before you can't see them anymore? Don't you want that?"

Her heart throbbed. He sounded like he was talking about himself, like he had three weeks ago, when he'd wished for her soul to heal. Maybe Dimitri was right. Maybe she shouldn't be alone. Maybe she shouldn't grieve on her own. Maybe she should let him inside. Let him comfort her, and her comfort him.

But she couldn't. Isolation was easier to bear. She didn't have to share the weight of others' pain. And they didn't have to share hers. It was peaceful. Painfully peaceful, yet she had her nails to take away the pain whenever it all got to be too much. They'd helped her a lot, a week and two days ago. Perhaps, she should do it again...

The lock clicked. Lissa jerked to find him walking through the open door. Dimitri stopped a few feet away from her, appearing much more emotional than he'd sounded. She'd never thought he could look so shattered.

"Trust me, Princess," he said, fighting to keep his voice steady. "You don't want to skip the funeral. You'll regret it for the rest of your life."

She watched him for a moment, then slowly went towards him until they were inches apart. "Your first charge died, didn't they?" It was the only reason she could think of, given how reluctant he'd been to talk about them.

A lone tear slid down his cheek.

Lissa took a deep breath and lowered her head, swallowing hard while she stared at his polished shoes. "I'm sorry, Guardian Belikov."

"Me too." It was barely a whisper.

"Who—who were they?" She felt bad for asking, yet she really wanted to know.

Surprisingly, he responded. "Ivan Zeklos." She raised her head and widened her eyes. There was a royal Moroi in her grade named Jesse Zeklos. He had to be one of Ivan's cousins. Did he know he'd passed away? "He was killed during a Strigoi attack, while I was on vacation with my family. And it was all my fault." Dimitri's voice quivered now.

Lissa had the urge to embrace him, but something told her he didn't want physical affection. It'd break him to shambles; this already hurt him enough. "No, it wasn't," she said instead. "You were on leave. There was nothing you could've done."

He shook his head vigorously. "I should've stayed with him. I should've—" He paused then sighed and wiped his eyes. "I should've said goodbye. He was my brother, and I didn't tell him goodbye at his funeral like he would've done for me." His dark brown eyes suddenly hardened, piercing her. "You need to tell them goodbye. You don't want to be haunted forever."

Her blood ran cold. Memories of Rose's voice—her real yet unreal voice—played in her head like a tape. Did Dimitri know about that? Did he know that her friend talked to her? That she could feel Rose somehow? Did he think she was a total nutcase?

Lissa ended those thoughts and nodded, gulping. "Okay. I'll go to the funeral. I'll...I'll say goodbye."

Nodding in return, he held out his jacketed arm. She gripped him tightly, earning a supportive squeeze on her hand. "Don't worry, Princess," Dimitri said. "You'll be fine. I'll be right beside you."

She tried to ignore her churning stomach and racing heart. The possibility of him somehow noticing the cuts on her wrist, even though they were covered. "Promise?"

He squeezed her hand tighter. "Promise."

* * *

The funeral was beautiful.

However, it would've been more beautiful if Rose had more recognition and the guest list was significantly smaller.

A neatly arranged, extravagant shrine for the Dragomirs stood against the Gothic walls, decked out with the family colors, insignia, and motto. Offerings littered the top, many of them being jewels and silks and wines and delicacies. Small portraits of Lissa's parents and Andre were bordered by scented candles and fragrant, colorful flowers in vases while larger ones were displayed on the alter with wreaths of flowers framing each.

Rose had a simply clothed table dedicated to her, situated on the other side of the church. The novices had created a poster board, an idea they'd suggested to Lissa and had all agreed upon, with her portrait and some pictures from the scrapbook and ones from combat practices, parties, and classroom and dorm pranks. In front of it were all her favorite things. It wasn't as lavish and decorated as the Dragomir shrine. But it was still nice in its own way.

Moroi, royal and non-royal, filled the wooden pews, locking their gazes on to Lissa as Dimitri led her to the front row. It was so silent, she could hear her blood pounding in her ears. Feel their pity slapping her across the face. Behind them sat the dhampirs, and along the walls stood the guardians, more empathetic than sympathetic. And honestly, she appreciated it much more.

When they reached her destination, Dimitri gently eased her down onto the pew and sat beside her, his hand still holding hers. The royal Moroi neighboring them looked surprised—even annoyed—at him staying in the front, when their own guardians weren't sitting with them and he was so tall. But Lissa disregarded them and relished his support, placing all her focus on Father Andrew at the podium.

"Good afternoon, everyone," he solemnly greeted. "I'd like to thank you all for coming to honor the precious lives of the beloved Prince Eric, Princess Rhea, and Lord Andre Dragomir. As well as Novice Rosemarie Hathaway. We're going to start the service with a prayer. So, if you would, please bow your heads..."

Lissa obeyed and closed her eyes, trying not to cry as he recited the prayer. The words rang deep and true in her soul. It warmed her that she could always find comfort in God, now more than ever. She didn't know what she'd do without his guidance and salvation.

Several seconds later, the prayer ended and everything that followed was a blur. When Victor delivered a speech about her parents and the novices and a few teachers spoke about Rose for her, she paid extra attention. But all the things everyone else said at the podium was the same old stuff, save for a couple interesting stories.

Once it was time for the body viewings, Lissa burst into tears, unable to handle seeing her loved ones even though they were well-dressed and clean rather than bloody and bruised—on top of all the memories that had flooded her mind throughout the speeches. Dimitri wrapped an arm around her and dutifully led her out of the church. People started filing out shortly after and swarmed her like bees, throwing thousands of questions. Shooting millions of comments. Trying to touch her any way possible.

"Everyone!" Kirova interrupted. "Please make your way to the Commons! The cold outdoors isn't the place to socialize. Please make your way to the Commons."

Dimitri immediately took Lissa there, everyone hot on their trail. As soon as they entered the toasty room, the chatter returned, and she sighed as people surrounded her again. She longingly stared at the novices and her Moroi friends getting food and drinks, before engaging in conversation with all the royals while he thankfully hovered nearby, refusing to leave her alone much to the irritation of the elites.

The only time he did leave was when Queen Tatiana Ivashkov approached her. With a bow, he politely excused himself and Lissa internally wished she could too. It wasn't because she didn't like her. She just didn't feel like talking anymore. She wanted a distraction.

Putting on a pleasant face, she curtsied. "Your Majesty. Thank you so much for coming. I deeply appreciate it."

"You're welcome, dear." Tatiana grabbed her hands, holding them gingerly. "What happened to your family is a tragedy, one we could've never expected. However, after each tragedy there's a fortune. Each ending a beginning. I believe great things will come to you, in time."

Lissa averted her gaze. "I don't know about that, Your Majesty…"

"Vasilisa, look at me." She obeyed, meeting Tatiana's emerald-green eyes that seemed to shine so bright. "Life isn't all bad, and it isn't all good. It's both. But right now, you're only experiencing the bad. Which means the good is just around the corner. You're stronger and braver than you think. You'll get through this." A smile graced her pale, wrinkled face.

"How do you know?"

"You're a Dragomir." Lissa was touched—too touched to say anything. Then, just like that, the Queen ended the conversation. "I'm afraid I must get going. There are matters awaiting me at Court. I wish you all the best, and I hope to see you again under much better circumstances." Tatiana gave her a final smile then left the premises with her royal guards in tow.

Not a moment later, Dimitri resurfaced next to her. "Everything go okay?"

Lissa nodded, ruminating Her Majesty's words. "Yeah, I think so."

* * *

God granted Lissa's wishes through another funeral service. This was held later in the day at the school cemetery, after everyone either went back home or to the dorms. It was specifically for Rose, and she got buried there while the Dragomirs would be buried at Court.

Even though she'd had some spotlight during the main memorial, it'd been clear the school had only allowed her to be honored to not seem like heartless assholes. Their friends, select teachers, Rose's mother, and Dimitri were attending this one too. And an unrecognizable dark-haired, Moroi man in bright and expensive clothes. They all stood before her grave, which her poster board and gifts had been moved to.

As the snow fell lightly, they each took turns saying something new about Rose while Janine Hathaway and the strange man listened, who occasionally glanced at Dimitri for whatever reason. Lissa told a story about the time when Rose had officially began feeling like her sister. Mason told a story about how Rose had become his first love. Eddie told a story about how Rose inspired him during training. The other novices told stories about how Rose had always stood up for anyone in need. Stan, Alberta, Ms. Karp, Mr. Nagy, and Ms. Meissner told stories about how they'd always believed Rose had the potential to be a great guardian and student, despite her troublemaking.

Lissa stepped forward again and made a closing statement, when everyone was finished. Tears coldly ran down her face. "We miss and love you so much, Rose," she said, hugging herself and willing herself to keep going. "You've been the best friend and sister I could ever have. The best classmate. And I'm sure the best daughter. Never will you be forgotten. Or stop being loved. Rest in peace, and—" She sniffled and wiped her face. "Take care of my family, wherever you are, okay?"

A chilling wind blew, and Rose's voice surfaced. _I will...I promise...And I'll take care of you too._

Smiling through her sobs, Lissa kneeled down and kissed the frozen ground, not caring if her lips were turning blue. Once she stood up, all the novices and teachers embraced her and offered some more well wishes before giving her some privacy with Janine and Rose's apparent father. Dimitri looked like he wanted to leave, but he stayed by her side anyway, understanding she still needed support and comfort.

"Thank you for being such a wonderful friend and sister figure to Rosemarie," Janine said, sounding pained. "And I appreciate your parents for all that they did for her, when I couldn't." It wasn't hard to catch the guilt and shame in her voice.

"Of course," Lissa replied, hating to see her beat herself up about not being a good parent. If only Rose had known how sorry her mother was. How much she'd actually cared... "I'm so happy I met her and got to be a part of her life."

"Wish we could say the same," lamented the man beside Janine. He grinned sadly, offering a gloved hand. "Ibrahim Mazur, but you call me Abe. I'm Rose's father. It's nice to meet you."

Lissa gaped, shaking his hand. Out of her periphery, she noticed Dimitri's stunned expression, which stunned her. He didn't seem like the type to get that feeling a lot.

"Rose was your daughter?" he asked in disbelief.

Abe grimaced at his use of past tense but responded, nonetheless. "That's right."

Dimitri muttered something under his breath, and she furrowed her brows at hearing _Zmey_, which meant "snake" in Russian. What could possibly make Rose's father be like a snake?

_Something bad_, her conscience whispered.

"How did you and Guardian Hathaway get together?" Lissa questioned, confused as to why a strict and rule-abiding woman like her would have a relationship with an unconventional, shady man like him.

Janine stiffened, and Abe laughed. "It's a long story. One that'll have to wait another day, I'm afraid." The tone of his voice, though, hinted there actually wouldn't be a day at all. He faced Dimitri. "I heard about what happened to your charge," he said softly. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thanks."

"You've grown into a fine, young man. And become accomplished too. That's really great. It's like you were a boy just yesterday." Lissa and Janine looked between the two of them, and Abe cleared his throat. "Well, we better get going. It was a pleasure meeting you, Princess. And seeing you again, Guardian Belikov. Take care."

"You too," Lissa reciprocated. Dimitri nodded. Janine uttered her own goodbyes, then pressed herself against Abe and walked away with him, her cries barely audible over the wind and snow. Once they were no longer in sight, she asked, "How do you know Rose's dad?"

"He helped my family out, when I was a kid." She could sense he was hiding something, but she didn't ask anything else. He spoke again before she could get out a word. "Rose seemed like a promising novice and extraordinary friend," Dimitri commented, gazing intently at the grave. "Quite reckless, impulsive, wild, and stubborn. But still promising and extraordinary. I'm sure she would've done amazing things."

Lissa teared up, admiring the grave with him. "Me too. She probably would've drove you crazy, but I think you would've liked her."

He chuckled. If she wasn't mistaken, a ghost of a smile tugged his lips. "I think so too."

* * *

Lissa worked on her research paper, the rest of the night. She knew it was a bad idea, and Mr. Nagy wouldn't mind her turning it in even later because of the funerals. Yet she'd already made him give her an extra week to complete it. And she hadn't been productive at all, thanks to her crippling grief and depression. Demanding more time wouldn't be fair.

Right?

She was so close to stopping and just turning in what she had done so far with her poor focus, when Aaron Drozdov, her boring and annoying boyfriend, called out to her from outside her door.

"Babe, can you let me in?"

Groaning, Lissa got up from her desk and threw the door open. "What do you want, Aaron?"

Hurt flashed in his blue eyes, before he said, "I just came to see how you were doing. I didn't get to talk to you that much today. I figured you'd want some company." He smiled tentatively.

She crossed her arms. "I'm kind of busy and want to be alone." She didn't know why she said that so sharply, when he was trying to be a good boyfriend, but she couldn't help it.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now will you please go. I'll see you later." Lissa started closing the door, but he stopped her. She scoffed. "Aaron!"

"Come on, Babe. Don't be like this." He ensnared her waist and kissed her cheek. "Forcing yourself to work isn't going to help. Neither will isolation. I know you want a distraction."

She tried to argue, yet nothing came to mind. He was right, and she despised it. "Okay then," she conceded. "Any suggestions?" He gave her a smoldering look, and her breath hitched. She gulped. "Are you sure?"

"Are _you_ sure?"

Lissa shrugged. "I don't know…"

"We don't have to go all the way, if you don't want to. We can just makeout—"

"No, we can go all the way." Aaron raised his blond brows, and she said with as much conviction as possible, "I mean it. I want to do this. I want you." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard, hoping he'd stop interrogating her and just let her forget for a while. It was his idea, after all.

He moaned, gripping her tighter and kissing her back with equal hunger. _Thank God_! she thought. His lips burned away all the negativity consuming her, which completely turned to ash when his hands wandered across her body and tangled in her hair. Kicking the door closed, he pulled off her dress while she pulled off his jeans and unbuttoned his shirt, their movements fast and clumsy. Once they managed to get down to their underwear, he lifted her to her absolute surprise and carried her to the bed, where he unceremoniously dumped her.

Spreading her legs open, Aaron nestled in between them and continued kissing her, reaching his hand into her panties to stroke her clit. She moaned and grinded against him, delighted at the pleasure shooting throughout her body and his erection pressing into her through his boxers, which she stroked in return. Now moaning together, they kept it going until she was wet, and he was painfully hard. Unable to tease any longer, they discarded their underwear.

Their skin meeting was electrifying. Lissa never wanted the buzzing to fade. Aaron fondled her breasts and nipped at her neck a little, then suddenly left the bed and searched his jeans. She stared in confusion, until she saw the condom packet in his hand.

"Sorry," he said when he returned, blushing and giggling. "I almost forgot."

She laughed, and it made her feel even better.

He laughed again before putting on the condom and laying on her. Aaron kissed her softly and stroked her hair. "You ready?"

Lissa licked her lips and took a deep breath, then nodded with a smile. She hoped it looked genuine. "Yeah."

Taking her word for it, he eased into her. She hissed at the pain and dug her nails into his back, so he thrust slow and kept kissing her tenderly. The pain dulled after a while, and soon, she serenaded him with moans again. But she found herself faking it, compared to earlier. The heat and electricity weren't intensifying. They were fading, like she'd dreaded, and when Aaron released with a loud groan, she didn't orgasm. This wasn't as good of a distraction as she'd expected.

"I love you, Lissa," he said blissfully, kissing her one last time before pulling out of her, shifting to her side and throwing the covers over them.

"I love you too." The words felt hollow, but he didn't say anything about it if he knew. He merely fell asleep. She sighed as she stared up at the white ceiling, regret pouring into her and wishing Natalie wasn't staying with her dad tonight.

Cutting herself would've been the right distraction. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I thought it'd be really cool to explore spirits and the afterlife, so I created this what-if scenario about Rose dying in the car crash but still being around as an earthbound ghost, a ghost that lingers in the physical world for various reasons (violent death and unfinished business, for example). This obviously changes a lot of what happens in the books, but I'm hoping to add something to the concept of spirit magic in the books. I'm going to fill you guys in on stuff that isn't really shown in the books, between the car crash and graduation. I'm also still keeping key elements of canon: Dimitri being Lissa's guardian, Lissa activating her spirit magic, Sonya Karp going insane, Victor Dashkov's plan.
> 
> This story was originally planned to be 10 chapters. However, it's looking like it's gonna be 15. If there ends up being more to tell once I hit 15 chapters, then I'll probably do a sequel. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts, in a review! Constructive criticism is especially welcome. Feel free to leave a kudos, and please subscribe if you want to continue reading.
> 
> Question: Do you believe in ghosts?
> 
> Until next time...


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